Monday, May 6, 2013
Why I Write
Writing is my alone time to get to know myself. Only after I write do I truly see my problems and my solutions. Maybe I am not the only one, but up inside my cranium there is a thousand thoughts flying around at warp speed. And I spend most my valuable time in unrewarding pursuit of each and every thought. When I was unearthing my teen years at eleven years old, I discovered the power of writing. Do you remember when you first start to realize you have the world at your fingertips? And! You can do anything you want? I do, and I also remember the most overwhelming and confusing feels that come along like unwanted in-laws. Writing is my outlet for those confusing feels and compromising situations. I write poems like a road map to answers. The first line is the timid, ice breaker, reaching out offering its self to examination. Then as each line slips from my neurons to my fingertips, my subconscious becomes one with my conscious and I start writing things I did know I felt. Ideas form like molded clay and on and on it goes, I perfect my sculpture of words till every detail is intricately placed. By the end I am racing to pour out every last drop before it escapes into the air I breath and vanishes. When all is through, there is no hesitate to be done. I drop my pen and step back. Admiring my creation, not for its beauty but for its absolute enlightenment, that I can only see. In fact, when someone reads my writing and tells me it is "beautiful" I am almost offended, because their is no beauty in struggling to understands ones self. It is the ultimate frustration. Writing class assignments is mandatory, and not necessarily enjoyable, depending on the topic, but it is key to the survival of my writing. By survival I don't mean remembrance, honestly remembrance is of no importance when I write, I mean the strength of writing. The power my words have, and my own expectation I hold myself to when writing.